So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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