That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
