I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
