You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
