State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
