You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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