the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
