so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
