We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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