Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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