By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
