would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize