I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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