Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
