Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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