So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
