i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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