well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
