You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
