im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
