Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
