I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
