I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
