Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
