I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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