I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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