He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
there was a trapeze. enough said
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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