She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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