Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
