please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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