I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize