You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
