I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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