I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize