sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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