if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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