we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize