Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
handjob tips. give me some.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
