She said her name was "party"
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
