As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
