He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
