so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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