Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
These tits shall not be calmed
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
