So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
