i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
