Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize