You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
