He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
