Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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