I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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