I think i peed on brittanys purse
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
