Your mouth is God's brothel.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
