Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
