My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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