office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Text me some of your sweat
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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