Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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