I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
