I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
