I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
