you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
