And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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