this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
